2:48
The blue light of the computer screen illuminatates the keyboard in the darkness. It´s not really dark. The night floodlights in the lobby are on. I smell horrible.
Last night the shiny wrapper hadn´t yet been removed from ambition. But the cheaply padded seats, drunken nazis, drooling on a boy´s lap, and trains going too fast to remeber that they were made to carry people did that.
Novelty is a liar.
This wasn´t a ticket to Madrid. Or maybe It was, but the stubs in my pocket tell a different story.
The illusion of safe isn´t lost to everyone.
How many of it´s preachers actually believe in freedom?
This is living. Venturing to the Depths of Cliché caves and the Tops of Mountains, not so naturally anymore. To figure out where I belong. I belong where I want to belong. I don´t want to belong.
Take me anywhere but here.
I don´t want to go back out. I can´t tell what it is but i can feel it waiting, ready to engulf me.
I don´t want to go up. There´s nothing for me there.
Three Beds. Three Drugged out boys and thier makeshift groupie.
3:12
I just have to make it a little bit further. Three more days even. Three more days and then what?
Then I return to somewhere i´ve been before and pretend to know. Satisfied Im a little bit more like what entranced me in the hopes that someday i might dance the way they do.
Dancing isn´t beatiful. It´s butchery, and he´s only complimenting himself by complimeting her.
I don´t want to be like that.
3:18
There´s nowhere else to go.